ptptn...

i been applying my ptptn since 10th june and its been like 2 months oredi
the news that i receive had yet been shocking but true..
the first piece of news that i had come about is that i failed to get the loan from ptptn( all thks to my beloved utar...asking us to apply for so many times) but was actually one of my application had been cancel...due to lacking of time the put failed instead of cancel..
next i thought that i still had a chance to get the loan from ptptn...
not sure whether is their systems got problem or the problem is mine...i was enrol to utar since 31st may 2010
damn thats means i only get two years loans where my course concerns i graduate on the third year...haiz...im not that smart until i can enter utar when actually im still studying for my stpm...
waiseh talking bout stpm makes me more mad...since when did i took up my stpm exam on the year of 2007...heyhey im stil form five ok and i nearly failed my spm...
ptptn is actually suppose to lift up burdens of those with financial problems but actually its been giving a hard time of two months and a headache of three days...
man what else can i say...im all out of words of my ptptn...GAVE UP TOTALLY...!

Unexpected( V)

did sumthg very unexpected...
no regrets but hunger for more...
but my instinct tells me i shuld stop here
so which shuld i follow?
DESIRE vs INSTINCT...
hmm tough choice...but i think i shuld stick to INSTINCT
well come wat may...

blog blog...

Sad...
nothing else can really define how I'm feeling now......
Incidents over incident that had happen around us...
paused us for a moment to recap our thinking box and make decision..
some decisions made with no sense of guilt and regrets..
some in later part or rather in later point of life when we flash back, we'll be filled of sorrows and regrets...
Had i made the right decision? What will had happen if i take the other alternatives?
Well apparently what done's had already over. But the curiosity and the feeling of guiltiness is slowly but yet to shallow us whole.
What can be done? What do we need to do? Should continue with the life and pretend as if nothing had happen? How long can the effects of these last?
Lastly, why life is full of questions?

UNI-lives

Its been a long time since my last entry in this blog...
Well how times flies...the last times im writing in this blog was wen im waiting for my stpm and look at me now...im in UNI....hw unexpected...
But the unexpected doesnt just stop there....there's more...
In my current uni(utar) i was offer a course dat not in the wildest mind of mind could imagine that ill be taking...Business Administration major in BANKING AND FINANCE...hmm despite of what im getting for stpm Maths T i reli dunno exactly how i could be given this opportunities to study such an important yet difficult course...
On top of that, i ACTUALLY ACCEPTED this course...with the imagination that i can deal with it(hopefully reality)...
Well enough with the unexpected lets me review some of my first few weeks in uni...it was tough, everything had depends on myself, do myself...and for someone (like me) this is a drastic change in life...i mean man hw can i actually survive...and so i was right within the first week itself i dunno whether to consider myself lucky or unlucky....i was sharing a room with a person that i known for a few years since my form four...
BUT the best had yet to arrive...alone in this obscure world with nobody that can really be trusted, everything seems so strange and anew...
PLUS in the first week itself many of my things got spoil eg my handphone (whom i just bought in less than two weeks)
OKOK enough dun wanna keep bragging bout my lives...lets move on to studies...
like i said im taking an unexpected course...the subjects itself, are most of them new to me..
I mean i never knows whats account and economics until i take the subject...
first few weeks was ok...but i collapse on the three week...where i almost fell ill...
when i recover...i realized my old habit(sleeping,laziness, and slacking in studies) all coming back to me, all at once...
NOW im on the fifth week...everything becomes blur to me...esp accounting...man im just so lazy to study anymore...HOPEFULLY MY ULTIMATE MISSION/TARGET>to get overseas (travel all around the world) < can get my feet back up agn...
IN SOCIAL WISE i do actually meets some new friends but i dun really know hw to social well esp the ppl here most communicate using MANDARIN. How on the world can i speak mandarin, muz be a miracle for me to even understand a sentence...hahaha...but im good at pretending...so i just pretend to listen...
GUESS my worst nightmares are all coming to me at once...EXAMs AND ASSIGNMENTs...man this is my weakpoint...
well i guess i really nid to brush up my skills in order to graduate...
seriously, every1 said uni-life is interesting F them...is so FKing boring here...

breaking point

after the cny incident
im am encountering
yet another series of life
which makes me feels toring apart
its my results day
on the 25 of feb
i wasnt ready
to take my results
why is it so fast tis year
im ady sadden and disappoint
nw im nervous and scared
till the shit is out of me
i think i want 2 break down...

shatter heart on CNY

hate tis year CnY very much
no mood 2 celebrate aso
coz of someone
someone who once very dear 2 me
she just cant stop talking and cursing
on the eve of new year
feels like glueing her mouth
then we had 2 rush down 2 kl
and on the whole journey
she was cursing and scolding upside down
is tis an symptom of alzeimer?
guess so
she took all my mom and mine jewelry she once gave 2 us
make me so sad and disappointed in her
i dun feel like talking 2 her agn
but yet agn...she is my grandma
what 2 do? gt 2 put up wif her crap
haizzzzzzzzz

first day at work

it was 5 of feb 2009
when i strt my first job
first time of working
as a promoter to a company called
G2
promoting sensodyne
............
it was still fresh in my mind
i was so clumsy
i forget 2 bring my id pass
hahaha
gtg bck home search high and low for it
............
then my kl boss cum
gt complain
and bla bla
and the interesting part is the dinner...
my drink was belanja by boss
but sad part is i enter wrong toilet
termasuk ladies toilet
hahaha